I rock

Ok, so I've been thinking about lots of things. I was thinking that I am not ashamed to talk about how cute I am. I am cute, ok? I don't think anyone would argue with me. I do cute things, I look cute like all the time and I make cute grunty-noises. This cuteness really works for me. I think if I wasn't so cute my mom and dad would have sent me back by now. One of the main cute things that I do is I get the scoots and I run around and act all silly. Mom and Dad always laugh really loud when I do it, so I do it every day. See, I'm a smart breed! Another cute thing I do is I hang out by my mom constantly! All. the. freaking. time. 24/7, yo! (That's not true, I'm just gettin' all gansta, which is cute! I'm a blind deaf motha fucka! and I'll get up in yo' grill! and lick you!)

So tonight something interesting happened...I was in the kitchen, helping mom cook, being cute, and she started talking to me (she thinks I really can't hear) and she was all, "oh, are you helping me cooook, that's just what I need, a blind dog getting burned on the stove..." and I was all, "beeyatch, you don't even know what I cook when you aren't here!"....and she was all, " dog, I know you don't cook because you can't SEE...for starters, and you don't have opposable THUMBS! for finishers..." and I was all..."GEEZ, you don't have to be so mean...."

I think mom might be a little mad at me. Well, see I was chewing a bone last night on her new rug in the living room and I got a little, just a little, carried away. I must have been drooling onto the rug and then the rug started to taste like the bone and then next thing you know! I chewed a whole in her rug. Her NEW rug (so I hear). So I guess I can't blame her for being pissed about me cooking in her kitchen when she's at work. Poor mom! I wish she didn't have to work so much!